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Marital Woes

How to stay happy when divorce is not an option? Part 2

How to stay happy when divorce is not an option? Part 2

In Part 1, we saw how hope, determination, and persistence can be important elements in making your marriage work. Attending to yourself and rekindling the spark in marriage are pursuits which can create magic.

Let’s look at a few more tips that can make you happier.

 

6. Take care of yourself

According to research done by the University of Michigan, an unhappy marriage increases the risk of you getting ill or struck by disease by 35%. So taking care of your mental and physical health is something you will have to prioritize. Though it may seem the last thing you want to bother with, take charge of your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Reimburse yourself in activities that nourish your soul.

 

7. Rekindle curiosity with each other

When the heady rush of love fades, and routines and responsibilities settle in, some of us find in a state of rude shock in context to the marriage. Many times we skip the step where we learn how our partner understands love. As an example, imagine you speak Tamil while your spouse speaks only Hindi. You may repeatedly and continuously express your love verbally in the language you know- Tamil. But do you think your partner will understand even a word of it? That is precisely what happens in the case of Love Languages.

In the book, “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” Gary Chapman teaches us that there are five “Love Languages”. According to him, a spouse needs to express their love to their partner in the language that their partner understands. Only then will the ‘love tanks’ of both spouses be full always. This book is just one instance to know your partner more. Rekindling curiosity can make your relationship more alive, fresh and vibrant!

 

8. One person CAN save the marriage

Analyze this: Do you have more goals to work upon for your partner or yourself? It’s amazing how having goals for yourself can bring about an unimaginable turnaround in your relationship. Usually, it’s changes made by one person that can save a marriage. Why don’t you be the one? It’s easier said than done when I say that you can be happier with “no expectations”, but you can at least give it a try!

 

Photo on Pexels
It can be you! Photo on Pexels

 

9. Meditate

This might be the last thing you’d want to try out to feel good about your situation. Because it’s difficult. It’s relatively easy to seek a counselor. Or cry on a friend’s shoulder. But to resolve a conflict, it’s necessary that your mind has a lot of clarity. Troubled marriages are stressful. And the most profound way to come out of stress is meditation. The situation can stay, but the way you perceive it can dramatically change.

Want beautiful relationships? First, turn inward and start building a healthy relationship with yourself. The source of joy, primarily, is in you, and nobody external. If you squeeze the joy out of your partner, you are going to be doubly in trouble. Get unstuck with a few minutes of meditation in your life!

Can’t believe? Read this

 

Focus within to change Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

 

10. Consider getting support

There will be many times when you will need help. You might feel lonely. You might need a temporary place to stay. A little financial aid. Or just someone who can hear you out. Calling in your trusted friends or siblings or parents can be an excellent solace. Don’t underestimate the power of support!

Lastly, while doing all these things, do everything that makes you happy outside of your marriage. Make new friends. Develop a new hobby. Spend more intimate and quality time with your kids. Get a job. Exercise more. Go to a spa regularly. Take up some relaxation therapies. Spend more time with nature.

 

Spending time twice a week with your girlfriends can be therapeutic Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash

 

There’s no quick fix. One nature walk won’t give you all the calm you need. You need to resort to these things again, so that you practice these happy patterns and don’t go into the usual rant of, “I can’t walk out.”

Please don’t forget there are people who are suffering as you do, or worse. They are fighting their own struggles. And because the human spirit is to move on, many people have been successful in overcoming their challenges while remaining happy and peaceful.

Remember this: You can do it too. There’s a glimmer of hope.

 

Read Part 1 this article here:

 

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