Considering dating after your divorce? But feel that you are still paralyzed by past fears and memories? Yes, we know dating after a divorce can be a big leap. Yet, it can mark a beginning of transition, healing and moving forward.
In the book, The Divorced Phoenix, Honoree Corder shares,
“If you’re ready to embark on your post-divorce transformation, you’re in for some hard work, but the reward is a major treat called your new life.”
Dr. Chinmay, a psychiatrist from Mumbai, shares: “If you are still thinking about your past, having feelings of regret and guilt or if you are feeling anxious about living alone, then you should give some more time to yourself. And only when your divorce stops bothering you on a daily basis, when you are happy with yourself, then you are ready to take on a new relationship.” So these are the signs which will help you understand whether you are ready to date again!
You are allowing yourself space and time to reflect without judgment. You take small but deliberate steps to make yourself happy. You work towards creating a sense of stability, peace and calm around you.
You’ve cleared your mind of your ex. Not in a bitter way. But your mind isn’t preoccupied with those thoughts now. You are beginning to open up to new experiences. And letting go.
A few months ago, maybe you weren’t even able to get out of your bed. But now, small chores like buying groceries, cleaning up, answering calls and cooking are something you look forward to.
You’ve successfully dumped all the negative emotions of guilts, remorse, anger and hatred surrounding your divorce.
The crying has stopped. Complaining and blaming feel distant. No drama surrounding divorce. And you feel peace in your life. You feel free, light and feeling comfortable in your skin. You are compassionate to your own self, and loving how you are evolving and learning new life lessons.
You are already socializing with old and new friends and saying yes to just “a date”. Only one. There aren’t too many expectations. You are open for the date to be a dud also. But you’d like to get to know someone. You are buying new accessories (though the wedding ring is gone), and feeling confident about how you look and appear. The house boasts of some new books about dating again, and you are following tips from different blogs.
Past doesn’t haunt you, and the future doesn’t create anxiety. You’re getting ready to take life head-on. And making the most out of it! You have gained the trust to love someone else again.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu.